Day Four: Alaska
Date: December 12, 2002 From: Mr. A-- To: Dandelion Snailrider Subject: Re: Day Three: Unnecessarily Soggy I have sad news. Somehow, I couldn't begin to imagine how it might have happened, our dogs got into the freezer. Of course, the haggis was among the very first things they found, and--given its resemblance to a nice size ball--they.... Well, let's just say that it's seen better days. And it won't be seeing any more. They must have broken in early this morning, given the condition of the haggis as I found it. As nearly as I can piece together, it must have thawed out as they played with it. Eventually, of course, this resulted in the thing falling apart once it had thawed completely. This was not a bad thing as far as they were concerned. In fact I'm sure that they found it a lovely surprise that their toy turned out to also be a nice midafternoon snack. The bottom line, of course, is that the haggis is gone. Such a pity too. I was looking forward to cooking it up on Christmas eve and feeding it to my children. On the other hand, the dogs probably appreciated it more than they would have. How some people can have so little appreciation for the more interesting things in life is beyond my comprehension! There is hope, though. I have it on good authority that there are numerous purveyors of excellent haggis in many locations across the US. One of the finest is in Dixon. My son and his wife would no doubt LOVE to have you come and stay with them while you sample the local...delicacies. -- Mr. A-- --
From: Dandelion Snailrider To: Mr. A-- Subject: Re: Day Three: Unnecessarily Soggy Date: December 13, 2002 Dear Mr. A--,
--- Mr. A-- wrote: > Somehow, I couldn't begin to imagine how it might > have happened, our dogs got into the freezer. Of > course, the haggis was among the very first things > they found, and--given its resemblance to a nice > size ball--they.... Well, let's just say that it's > seen better days. And it won't be seeing any more.
That is indeed sad news about the haggis! The wretched curs. In Patagonia, dogs that burst into the kitchen and steal the family feast are sent to government buildings to become guard dogs for bureaucrats, politicians, and expectorant parrots. I hope that Americans are kinder to misbehaving dogs. But courage and fortitude (not to mention duty!) will get us through this crisis. While resting up this morning in Nome, Alaska (after a long trip of perhaps a quarter of a mile per hour at best), I suddenly realized what a rude guest I have presented myself as, and I straight away purchased a rare Alaskan haggis, made by the descendents of Yukon Joe, which I plan on bringing to your home. It's not of the same promising vintage that yours was, but I'm sure it is excellent nonetheless. And speaking of dogs, I had the rare opportunity to observe the beginning of the Iditarod today. Attached you will find a picture of myself at this event; because I am rather smaller than the others attending this event, I've circled my head with red and drawn an arrow pointing to me. At any rate, my journey continues! I am riding on the back of a dogsled at the moment, borrowing Cornelius's laptop and satellite uplink hardware to write this e-mail and I'm sure it's quite expensive! Mush! Mush! Ha ha! Your obedient and humble servant, Dandelion Snailrider